After much hesitation and goading from MIL, we decided to enrol Ash at the playground at her area. Was initially asked to let her start going to playgroup when she turns 18 months old but I decided against it as I do not see the need for her to start so early for these reasons:
1) Am afraid of all the children diseases going around, and kids are most susceptible to them in schools (given how almost every one of them are drooling and sharing toys and whatnots); and
2) I do not want to start her in a "school environment" so early, wants her to grow on her own pace for a start.
Hubs and I haven't been the most hands-on parents and I am ashamed to say that today was the first time we stepped into the centre. I've heard of many parents taking the trouble to scout around and pay visits to prospective playgroups before deciding on the "best" one for their child(ren). I've always wanted to do that but it's just been all talk and no action. On MIL's persistent goading and persuasion, we decided to trust her judgement and enrol Ash in this playgroup even before making any checks or paying any visits. Morever, she has friends who bring their grandchildren there and has had no problems thus far and has only positive reviews about it.
As today is the registration day, Hubs and I trotted down (with Ash and MIL in tow) to the centre. When we reached (it is just opposite my MIL's block), there were already a handful of children there with their parents even though it's just 10 mins into the registration time. While Hubs and I were going through the procedures, Ash very quickly went over to the table and chairs and settled down. She seemed at ease and once seated, she started "talking" to the other kids and called "che che" and "gor gor" happily. The place is rather clean and brightly lit, with a comfortable space. I decided to throw my pre-conceived notions and initial reservations out the window and decided to really give this place a try.
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| settling down with fellow schoolmates-to-be |
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| happily playing with the toy |
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| trying to see how everyone else does it |
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| gamely posed for me |
After completing the necessary procedures, we told her it was time to go home. Held her hand and she started shrieking in protest. Didn't wanna leave! Had to let her stay on a while more, all the while coaxing and prepping her that we are heading home. She finally got the point after a couple of minutes and said her goodbyes to her schoolmates-to-be happily.
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While doing up the forms and making payment for the 1st school term and uniform, it suddenly dawned on me how "old" my little chubs has grown.
Old enough to go to school, old enough to read, old enough to talk, old enough to understand play, old enough to don uniform!
Noticed myself not calling her "chubs" anymore in the blog but started calling her "Ash (short for Ashley)".
Call me emo but the thought of this actually makes me tear a little at how fast my little chubs has grown...
Pinched myself a little for not spending as much time as I would love to during her 1st year.
All those times when she needed me to carry her around, when she would fall asleep in my bosom soundly (without any limbs hanging out awkwardly or me having backache).
All those times when she would coo, giggle, gurgle, chuckle, smile at every random little thing.
All ... gone.
Now going into toddlerhood, this little precious has learnt how to walk on her own, not walking to hold our hands every single time, fetch her own stuffs, choose what to play, verbalise how she feels / what she wants, sleeps on her own, picks her food, laughs selectively at our antics, etc.
More independence (of her own), less dependence (on us).
Although this is part of her growing up process and I should be glad that she's developing fast and well, I cannot help but want to slow down this process so I can slowly savour and take in the little moments.
As with most of the parents, therein lies a big contradiction.
I want her to grow up fast enough for me to witness her major milestones in life - saying full sentences, going to school, graduating from school, getting married, having kids, etc.
Yet, I selfishly want her growth to be at a slow, steady pace where I can still enjoy her dependence on me as long as possible and take in every little moment I have with her for these moments once gone, will never come back.
I am terrified of her growing into a tween who will retort my every sentence, finds my presence irritating, not wanting to tell me the little nuggets of her life or bascially just not needing me to be there for her.
I know that day will come (unless I am one of the fortunate few who do not have kids that go through the rebellious stage) but I would like to hold that as far back as possible.
I know I know, you must be thinking "hello! she's so young now, you worry too much too early!"
Let me (or any other parent for that matter) tell you, kids really do grow up at amazing speeds and before you know it, all these scenarios will start to play out.
But since worrying so much will not help to slow down the process (and instead will only make me grow old faster!), I will just try to relax all these thoughts and just sit back, and take in every little chubs moment.
Just remember chubs, Daddy and Mummy love you and will always do.
No matter how irritating we grow to be (which I hope not much!), please know that we only want the best for you and we only do what we do out of our love for you.
AND... I hope you will always love us too.
Will end off with these lyrics (from a song I really love) that I find very apt here:
我怕時間太快
不夠將你看仔細
我怕時間太慢
日夜擔心失去你
恨不得一夜之間白頭
永不分離
